Motivating Children: Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3
Part II: What can I do to motivate my child?
The Chinese have a saying: "The longest journey starts with a single step." This is where we must begin, setting realistic expectations for change not only for the child, but for ourselves as well.
If the change is to begin with us, it is critical to look at ourselves as role models. What messages about motivation, responsibility, and education are we giving our children? What part of our lives are the children observing? Although we may exhibit drive and motivation on the job or in community volunteerism, if we turn those characteristics off when we return home in the evening after a long, hard day, what are our children seeing? Our children should have the opportunity to observe the following in our daily lives:
If the change is to begin with us, it is critical to look at ourselves as role models. What messages about motivation, responsibility, and education are we giving our children? What part of our lives are the children observing? Although we may exhibit drive and motivation on the job or in community volunteerism, if we turn those characteristics off when we return home in the evening after a long, hard day, what are our children seeing? Our children should have the opportunity to observe the following in our daily lives:
- Effort and a sense of responsibility
- Respect and appreciation for education
- The ability to set goals
- Perseverance
- The ability to try again after failures
- Organizational skills
Praise versus Encouragement Activity
It is also important to provide other healthy role models for our children. Completing the Praise versus Encouragement Activity will help you motivate your child to make positive choices, persevere through challenges, and become self-motivated.
Additional methods to encourage motivation in children:
- Form a close teamwork alliance with the school.
- Set clear reasonable goals and expectations for your child (school, homework, etc.). Involve him or her in the establishment of these goals.
- Use words of encouragement rather than words of praise.
- Do not rescue; expect the child to assume responsibility for his or her actions or lack of actions, or suffer the consequences. Allow the child to take the lead in learning; support, but do not interfere.
- Do not accept excuses for failure to carry out responsibilities or failure to do a job well.
- Teach work ethics. Let the child know there are no substitutes for hard work. Many children grow up thinking there are shortcuts for everything and that things should come easily.
You may read a text copy of this lesson, modified from the Practical Parenting Curriculum (c)2011, in part three of this session.